To be irrevocably in love with a vampire is both fantasy and nightmare woven into a dangerously heightened reality for Bella Swan Pulled in one direction by her intense passion for Edward Cullen, and in another by her profound connection to werewolf Jacob Black, she has endured a tumultuous year of temptation, loss, and strife to reach the ultimate turning point Her imminent choice to either join the dark but seductive world of immortals or to pursue a fully human life has become the thread from which the fates of two tribes hangs.Now that Bella has made her decision, a startling chain of unprecedented events is about to unfold with potentially devastating and unfathomable, consequences Just when the frayed strands of Bella s life first discovered in Twilight, then scattered and torn in New Moon and Eclipse seem ready to heal and knit together, could they be destroyed forever This is a direct quote from Seth, Stephenie Meyer s brother and the person who runs her website In an attempt to keep the books clean and not make young girls think about things that they don t need to think about, no other book mentioned anything about reproductive systems Hear that, girls You re not supposed to think about things.Especially not sex.Don t think about sex Ever.Or you will be thinking about things you shouldn t be thinking about.Don t think about boys Thinking about boys leads to thinking about holding hands and kissing, which leads to thinking about sex, which is bad.Don t wonder about how babies are made and don t ever wonder where you came from Clearly you popped out of your mother s vajayjay the instant your parents thought about having a child, like in The Sims 1 No sex involved.Don t wonder if your parents still have sex Newsflash most parents keep having sex after their kids are born.And girls, especially don t think about other girls in the way you should be thinking about boys I mean don t think about boys in that way, either If you must think about the thing you re not supposed to think about, it should be about boys But still, don t think about it.In fact, don t even read these books, because they include boys, and a girl who tries to seduce a boy who like all good boys won t do that thing you re not allowed to think about with her Because he s the perfect boy But don t think about him.Because you don t need to think about sex You don t need to be prepared You don t need to know about protection You don t need to know that some boys only want you for the feelings the magic baby maker between your legs gives him This whole sex thing It just happens Magically And it doesn t hurt and you ll never regret it and you ll be happy and content forever.But, uh don t think about that You don t need to know about it.And when that baby pops out nine months later not like a week, which we have been led to believe and you don t turn into a vampire, don t be disappointed When you struggle to be a young single mum with a baby that actually takes work to look after and you re not an OMGAMAZINGGODDESSVAMPIRE supermodel, remember you re not supposed to think about it.And for god s sake, don t read these books and then fantasise about having sex with the boy, because even though Meyer wrote him to be the perfect boy, and he s based on one of her own wet dreams, and she has been quoted as saying if Edward or Jacob showed up on her doorstep she would leave her loving husband and three children for either one of them remember SEX IS BAD DON T THINK ABOUT IT. If you loved Breaking Dawn and don t want to see it criticized, I ll warn you now not to read my review That being said, let me begin by saying that when I first read Twilight, I was hooked I read New Moon in one sitting I awaited the release of Eclipse with great anticipation Sadly, Eclipse was the beginning of the end It left me disappointed enough not to have high expectations for Breaking Dawn Even at that, Breaking Dawn shattered my lowest expectations I am stunned at the depths to which this once revered author has plunged From this point on I will refer to Breaking Dawn as B.D., aka Bitter Disappointment, or, if you prefer, Boring Depravity, Bloody Drama, Brain Drain, or my husband s personal favorite, Bloody Diapers.Where do I begin How about with my least favorite character, Bella She began the series with a lot of promise Sure, some people said that she wasn t well defined in the first book, but I never had a problem with her Throughout New Moon and Eclipse, her character starts to decline In B.D., Bella becomes intolerable This girl is unbelievably selfish She begins the book whining about the beautiful, expensive car Edward bought her She whines about the wedding preparations, the dress, the ring Poor thing has to gasp marry the man of her dreams The injustice She is far concerned about nameless, faceless people mocking her for getting married young than she is about the happiness of the man she claims to love than life itself And her treatment of Jacob Where to begin This is a good kid had the misfortune to fall in love with her and though I had issues with his manipulation of her emotions at the end of Eclipse, still, he s a teenage guy and you have to cut him some slack But come on, Bella Once she realizes she loves him, but that she loves Edward , she chooses Edward Fine So let the poor guy go Let him move on with his life But no, she has to have her cake and eat it too She hurts both Edward, the one she has chosen, and Jacob, the one she has rejected, by refusing to cut ties with him She claims to hate herself for hurting him, says at one point that it s criminal to injure him as much as she does, but will she love him enough to let him let go and move on Nope She wouldn t feel whole without him, so she continues to cling to him Even after she s married The culmination of this extreme selfish lack of consideration for anyone s feelings but her own is when she slips and refers to the unborn baby as EJ Did she even think to consider whether Edward would be happy about having his child named after his rival No, she just did what she darn well wanted to do, and gave no thought to what Edward would want Bella has become a tyrant What Queen Bella wants, Queen Bella must have.Now, a little bit about Edward He was what made Twilight so magical He was mysterious, romantic, beautiful, all the many things that the hero of a good book should be Edward stole the hearts of most of the female readers of this series Yet, by the time you finish B.D., you find yourself either feeling terribly sorry for him because he chose such a lame heroine, or just contemptuous of him for becoming a doormat, a slave to Bella s whims I thought I d scream if I had to hear him say If it makes her happy, I ll do it, even if it s not what s best for her one time In B.D., the author sends the message through Edward that love and blind devotion are the same thing They aren t Truly loving someone isn t giving them free reign to stomp all over you and everything in their path, just because they think it will make them happy Real love encompasses the occasional appropriate guidance of the loved one away from self destructive desires toward a better way But here, we are taught that if you love someone, you let them have what they want, all the time, without exception.As for the story development, my greatest frustration is that the author created a very intricate world, complete with detailed descriptions of what could and could not happen in it Then she decided not to play by these rules Yes, I am referring to the sudden and inexplicable ability of a vampire to father a child This felt very contrived and unbelievable, and introduced such a bizarre, nightmarish chain of events that I could hardly believe I was reading the story that began as Twilight This baby feeds on the blood of its mother and slowly sucks her life away Bella has to drink human blood, while she s still human, to save her life and the life of her child And she LIKES IT This is the same, human Bella that turned green and almost passed out while doing blood typing in Biology class, right Okay, I could see that her aversion to blood was going to go away after becoming a vampire But while she was still human Really I felt sick the whole time I read about her drinking gallons of blood a day to sustain the child Bleh I still don t get the whole scene where Edward asks Jacob to offer to make babies with Bella What Again, is this the author s attempt at showing us the extent of true love It was twisted and disturbing.And the delivery of the baby that was just plain disgusting Bella vomiting gallons of blood, her bones snapping right and left, blood vessels popping in her eyes, Edward biting into her womb to get the baby out, and the tender moment when mommy sees baby for the first time is marred by said baby taking a bite out of her mommy Ick And I ll just join the legions of people who are saying, RENESMEE You ve got to be kidding This from the author who tastefully chose names like Edward, Bella, Carlisle, Alice why didn t she just name her Brangelina or TomKat Or Bedward I will also join the protests against Jacob imprinting on Bella and Edward s daughter I could see when the concept of imprinting was introduced that it would be the author s way of making a happy ending for Jacob at the end of the story, and that was fine I like a happy ending, and of course I wanted to see Jacob happy But are we so inflexible that we can t be happy with Jacob imprinting on a nice, new girl to the story No, Bella must have her way She can t be happy without Jacob as a part of her life And we re supposed to feel happy and satisfied that she gets her way in the form of Jacob as her son in law How is that a happy ending At the top of my list of grievances is the destruction of the message that was communicated so clearly in the first three books Once Bella falls in love with Edward, she is confronted with some very difficult choices If she wants to be with Edward, she must choose to leave human life behind her and become a vampire The value of Eclipse was that it forced Bella to look long and hard at what she was choosing if she decided to become a vampire She would have to cut ties with her human life her mother, father, and everyone human that mattered to her She could never have children of her own She would have to deal with the bloodlust of being a newborn vampire She would spend a significant amount of time developing the self control and restraint that the rest of the Cullens had achieved One of the most compelling elements of the first three books is Edward s angst, his agonizing about the state of his soul as a vampire He grieves what he sees as the loss of his soul This is at the heart of his great reluctance to change Bella, the reason for his disappearance in New Moon All the vampires who have chosen not to feed on humans hate what they have become They are conflicted about who they are None of them who remember life as a human can say with conviction that they wouldn t go back if they could Bella has to confront all of this and choose to sacrifice the value of her humanity for the love she feels for Edward All of this is well and good and presents a very thought provoking storyline Then, in B.D., every one of these issues is neatly sidestepped in order to create an obstacle free path to a happily ever after ending for Queen Bella First of all, from the moment she opens her eyes as a newborn vampire, everything is better The world shimmers She experiences everything so much intensely, things are beautiful, colorful, wonderful What s not to love about being a vampire Within minutes, she is exhibiting the self control that everyone else took decades to achieve And how about the whole I have to have sex before I become a vampire because all my human emotions will be gone for awhile Nope Not only does she still experience all the emotions and passions she had as a human, but they are intensified By the time we re finished reading about Bella s new life as a vampire, we have to wonder why anyone wouldn t want to be a vampire All the build up for Bella to grow and mature through sacrifice and self denial, wiped away So much better for her not to have to suffer through that stuff, right And she manages to get immortality and a baby, to boot We have to wonder if everyone who claimed that becoming a vampire was a serious, heavy choice was just delusional The nobility of the message is sacrificed in order to create a neat, happy ending for everyone.I haven t seen much, if any, speculation on what the cover of the book is trying to communicate to the reader, so here s my take The big white queen is, you guessed it, Queen Bella, the white vampire The red pawn is you or I , the blood red reader, about to be sucked dry in the wake of the Queen s destruction Beware I wish Stephenie Meyer had ended with Twilight or at least an extended version of New Moon I think I ll be hauling my copies of the last three to the local library as a donation and trying to just enjoy Twilight for what it was before the rest of this mess came into play. oh yes, so VERY many spoilers and unladylike language, sorrychokengtitiktitikchokeng1 god help me Here we gochokengtitiktitikchokeng8 yep, Edward is already going overboard protecting Bellachokengtitiktitikchokeng20 Her parents think it s a good idea for her to marry this weirdo at 18 They never think ANYTHING is a good ideachokengtitiktitikchokeng33 Vampire babies creepy in a good waychokengtitiktitikchokeng58 Jacob p.72 I swear Bella never just goes anywhere, you always have to DRAG her like a toddlerchokengtitiktitikchokeng85 I think they just had sex OMG p.86 now of course we have to suffer through pages and pages of Edward being guilty which means basically he is an assholechokengtitiktitikchokeng108 she MAKES him have sex with her again, on their HONEYMOON What a slutchokengtitiktitikchokeng121 oh, please no Don t be pregnantchokengtitiktitikchokeng123 God dammit p.124 The pregnancy is already showing huh p.132 Edward cold and furious for the 1985674th timep.145 Jacob POV p.151 This whole thing with the imprinting on a two year old is just so fucked upchokengtitiktitikchokeng153 However, I d seen Quil play peekaboo for an hour straight without getting bored HAHAHA p.174 Oh, I get it, the vampire baby grows really really fast And also EWchokengtitiktitikchokeng177 Edward racked with guilt for the 7893902057th timechokengtitiktitikchokeng274 GAH It broke her rib I am NEVER getting pregnant Everchokengtitiktitikchokeng327 Haha, she wants to name it either Edward of course or Renesmee Really No, really Oh please let it be a girlchokengtitiktitikchokeng333 I hope we see this red haired chick again I like herchokengtitiktitikchokeng350 OH MY GOD I know I said ew before, but I truly had no idea EW EW EW EW EW p.353 I am still horrified, but HAHAHAHA RENESMEE Awesomechokengtitiktitikchokeng354 Wow, I really didn t think she would actually have Bella become a vampire p.360 THIS HAD BETTER NOT BE WHAT I THINK IT IS, THAT S ALL I HAVE TO SAYchokengtitiktitikchokeng377 So apparently becoming a vampire feels like the worst torture imaginable, ever ever, but she s not going to scream because it might upset Edward.chokengistitikchokeng405 Well, thank god she is able to find a flaw in her looks even though she s a goddesslike beauty now It just wouldn t be Bella if she didn t hate herselfchokengtitiktitikchokeng409 Bella is the most gracefulest, loveliest vampire ever She can even walk in heels now p.420 Really, she is THE MOST AMAZING VAMPIRE THAT HAS EVER EXISTED Everyone is very impressedchokengtitiktitikchokeng449 Oh lord, it WAS what I thought it was Okay, so you are a teenage werewolf, and you form an unbreakable soul bond with the HALF VAMPIRE DAUGHTER of the girl you have been in love with forever, who is ALSO now a vampire, and married to another vampire with disturbing rage issues, and you know you are going to marry this VAMPIRE BABY when she grows up I suppose she doesn t have any choice in this , so how do you feel Fulfilled, apparently.So what is going to happen to Leah now I thought she and Jacob might end up together, but of course that wouldn t be DISTURBING ENOUGH, would it Maybe she and her brother can get married or somethingchokengtitiktitikchokeng463 Waitaminute If Renesmee heh is growing that fast, does that mean Probably she ll be married to Jacob in a couple weekschokengtitiktitikchokeng474 Bella is relieved that even though she s a vampire now, her essential core traits of being a killjoy and a whiner are still intactchokengtitiktitikchokeng485 Hee Edward is a much better musician than the rest of his family, because while he was practicing, and reading about science, and learning languages, they were too busy having sex all the time For real Because vampires never get tired, so they never have to stop Awesome.Apparently they also can only have sex if they re marriedchokengtitiktitikchokeng504 Coldly furiouschokengtitiktitikchokeng532 Coldly furiouschokengtitiktitikchokeng567 This entire series encapsulated in one sentence Wasn t shielding her important than answering her questions p.586 Wouldn t it make sense to explain first, and THEN show them the vampire baby p.602 This whole thing about the different vampire powers is cool p.608 AWESOME There is a fat vampire who is beautiful and the leader of her clan p.611 HAHAHA someone is going to have to provide an index see page 756 p.612 Huh New word ferine adj Untamed feralchokengtitiktitikchokeng704 Coldly furiouschokengtitiktitikchokeng736 Oh good, so Renesmee should be able to get married by age seven and avoid the extra ten years of tedious waiting to be joined with her soulmatechokengtitiktitikchokeng753 No one s ever loved anyone as much as I love you Yeah, yeahchokengtitiktitikchokeng755 THE END Okay, it started out pretty horrifyingly, but I enjoyed the last third or so I still think Edward has no personality, but I guess that s what some people like.And the red haired girl never showed up again Boo. Oh the memories The angsty teen memories They re all flooding back.It should come as no surprise that I have a dark and dangerous past I was a Twihard I loved this series with every beat of my teenage heart I had a poster, I had a vegetarian vampire shirt, I had a themed birthday party, and worst of all I did this to a book I can t even open it any for fear of the pages falling out and the spine splinteringyet I can t bear to throw it away.And now ten years later , I m revisiting the series to see how my opinion s changed over the last decade For the most part, I still am pleasantly pleased by how much I enjoyed rereading I very nearly memorized the series as a teen so during the reread, it was nice to see the scenes with fresh eyes after all this time It was like visiting an old friend However, this time around there were several moments aspects that stood out so much clearer to adult me Jacob went from a lovable sidekick to a mopey and whiny teen in my eyes It wasn t unbearable, but it was so much noticeable this round What do I look like The Wizard of Oz You need a brain You need a heart Go ahead, take mine Take everything I have 15 year old me thought this was perfectly reasonable and undoubtedly romantic 25 year old me couldn t stop noticing how he kept trying to force himself on Bella in Eclipse and then did the whole woe is me when Bella kept trying to tell him to stop even when she was married That werewolf needed a firm kick in the teeth AND for the first time I noticed how conveniently and absolutely perfect everything worked out for Bella The sheer amount of coincidences drove me a bit bonkers And then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of our forever 15 year old me was so relieved that the tension uncertainty was resolved We could finally get those super cute moments with the Cullen Family 25 year old me kept waiting for something to happen I mean, the first 2 3 of the book consists of Bella getting married and being pregnant Lots and Lots of filler fluff She s the calmest newborn in centuries, she makes leaps and bounds with her gift and has a super adorable precocious child It s verging on Mary Sue territory Stop being so optimistic It s getting on my nerves Most notably, the series end wasn t as all consuming and life altering as I remembered it being I still enjoyed the series but it just doesn t hold to my memory I guess that s a product of growing up I m a bit disappointed about that Ah well It s still a four star er in my book here s to nostalgia and memories Audiobook CommentsFor such a popular book, you d think the audio would be a bit better The female voice done by Ilyana Kadushin for Bella s parts didn t have enough variation in tone especially when she did male characters Nearly every adult male had the same voice and the accents of the new visiting vampires wasn t distinct enough The guy voice done by Matt Walters was a bit better for the distinction but sounded wooden throughout the book The 2018 Popsugar Reading Challenge A book with the time of day in the titleBlog Instagram Twitter