When Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince opens, the war against Voldemort has begun The Wizarding world has split down the middle, and as the casualties mount, the effects even spill over onto the Muggles Dumbledore is away from Hogwarts for long periods, and the Order of the Phoenix has suffered grievous losses And yet, as in all wars, life goes on.Harry, Ron, and Hermione, having passed their O.W.L level exams, start on their specialist N.E.W.T courses Sixth year students learn to Apparate, losing a few eyebrows in the process Teenagers flirt and fight and fall in love Harry becomes captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, while Draco Malfoy pursues his own dark ends And classes are as fascinating and confounding as ever, as Harry receives some extraordinary help in Potions from the mysterious Half Blood Prince.Most importantly, Dumbledore and Harry work together to uncover the full and complex story of a boy once named Tom Riddle the boy who became Lord Voldemort Like Harry, he was the son of one Muggle born and one Wizarding parent, raised unloved, and a speaker of Parseltongue But the similarities end there, as the teenaged Riddle became deeply interested in the Dark objects known as Horcruxes objects in which a wizard can hide part of his soul, if he dares splinter that soul through murder.Harry must use all the tools at his disposal to draw a final secret out of one of Riddle s teachers, the sly Potions professor Horace Slughorn Finally Harry and Dumbledore hold the key to the Dark Lord s weaknesses until a shocking reversal exposes Dumbledore s own vulnerabilities, and casts Harry s and Hogwarts s future in shadow. Since pretty much everyone I know has read these books, I figure reviewing them is pretty pointless But with the new book coming out in a couple of days, I have to go through them beginning to end To make the reviews entertaining, I will be doing them in a variety of unexpected formats For this review, I will be writing as a power ballad Intro Piano and strings You were always by my sideYou will always be my guideBut the road I m onGoes on and onAnd I ve left you beHIIIIIND Big crunchy electric guitar DUMBLEDORE I will never forget the strength you showed DUMBLEDORE I will never forget the debt you re owed DUMBLEDORE And when I face the final hour DUMBLEDORE I will call on all your power Guitar solo There s no way back againBut if I can find a friendTo see me thoughAnd remember youI ll make it to the EEEENNNND DUMBLEDORE When I finally catch that snake in the grass DUMBLEDORE You will be able to rest at last DUMBLEDORE You know he never will escape DUMBLEDORE I m comin for you SNAAAAAAAAPE Guitar solo Guitar solo with children s choir singing Run, Snape, Run Guitar solo with fireworks Drums explode EDITOR S NOTE Yes, I know, it s horrible I m not proud. Read Harry Potter they said It ll be fun they said Our childhood was built on Harry Potter they said.WELL YOUR CHILDHOODS WERE ALL HORRIBLE OMG WHAT IS THIS BOOK WHAT IS THIS MESS I M IN Excuse me, but that large salty lake where my life used to be is my tears Yes, yes, this means I loved it But SERIOUSLY Nooooot okay At the end there, especially, I couldn t put the audio down so I was wandering about my house in a blind daze listening instead.And because every human and their fluffy poodle has probably sensibly reviewed this book, BAH I m just going to make a list of things I loved and things I didn t My Intense And Passionate LOVES Harry Ginny yes I was dubious at first Like I think romance is NOT JKR s strong pointplus when she gets to a romantic scene she ends the chapter HHAHAH ADORABLE Not that I minded, I justI think she s not good at romance But omg, there was that moment after the Quidditch match YUP You know what I m talking about Excuse me, my heart just ran around in circles screaming and shipping Hermione I adore her, butI gotta admit, she was a little bit too stuffy BUT I STILL LOVE HER I love her love for learning I also adore how sensible Ginny is Fred and George s joke shop gives life Also death, probs, but liiiiife I am utterly in LOVE with the whole concept of Hogwarts I mean, I think it s stupid that they have to write with a quill and ink can t they just enchant the quill to write for them and they seem to get an excessive amount of homework, BUT It s all so vivid and detailed and it literally feels like Hogwarts is A REAL PLACE I totally get why people wail about their letters going missing Speaking of detailme likey I always felt inside the story Plus the audio book narrated by Jim Dale is GREAT I totally recommend it I think Hermione s voice had a tendency to sound like an insufferable goat, but I got used to it Harry s voice was perfection I also particularly liked Harry in this book I JUST LOVE HARRY 3 He s snarky, but he s lost some of the angriness from bk 5 He s got snarky quips at the ready, but he s also intenselygood Like he s just a really GOOD chap, who makes bad decisions but really means well ZOMG flails about He was definitely my favourite character in this book ALSO DUMBLEDORE WAS GREAT I love Dumbledore and how he s always polite and kind and smiley view spoiler CAN WE TALK A MINUT EHOW I M NOT OKAY THAT HE S DEAD LIKE WHAT EVEN THE FLYING HECK OF BROOMS NEST TAILS THAT DOESN T MAKE SENSE BUT IT SHOULDN T BECAUSE NOTHING MAKES SENSE Dumbledore no Come baaaaaaaack breaks down into a mess I am also intensely furious that his weakening himself to get the horcrux was useless MAD Okay I AM MAD Character deaths where they failed are the worst there are hide spoiler i dont want to talk to anyonedont even look at mei was expecting it and i still cried for like 30 minutes A 86% Extraordinary Notes It dwells on the delightfully mundane aspects of the magical world, and adds new dimensions to familiar characters.