Why is your son dressed like a pilgrim?Oh, it's a phase he's going through.Why is he piling up all that wood?Oh, it's aa phase We're pretty certain it's a phase You know kids, haha.Haha Why is he tying your youngest, his brother, to a pole? Anda gasoline can? Matches??! Is that a phase, too?No Witches You can't suffer them to live.I suppose you're right You can't.No You really can't.For a second thereYeah, I know But, no Witch Well, warlock, to get technical about it.Your youngest, thoughYes, II know Don't think it didn't surprise me.Thank God your oldest is going through that phase.Tell me about it Saves me the job, you know.Haha!Haha! Ha! This is the most evil text ever written, a title I had previously reserved for Mien Kampf It's entire inception was evil, everything in the book itself was evil and may the authors of it be punished for all eternity Want to get into the filthy minds of 15th century puritanical men who fear women? read this! The Malleus is often advertized as a witch hunter's handbook, but it really isn't It's not about hunting anything It's not even really about what to do with witches after they're caught It's really all about the tedious little details of the trial process.First of all, the introduction is much crazier than the actual book The translator was a raving lunatic The first chapters of the actual text make Kramer seem quite a smart fellow, you know, just a victim of the ignorance of his times.The sensational modern view of the witch hunts is that the inquisitors were some kind of a roaming menace, traveling from village to village molesting and murdering sexy hot teenage girls The problem with this idea is that almost everyone else believed in witches, too The burning of witches is a pagan tradition, and the christian church was slow, and reluctant, to take it on So the inquisition is not the source of the problem, it's a reaction to it.When Kramer talks about torture, he pretty much just says do it in whatever way you usually do it He is not the instigator of medieval cruelty, he is just in the middle of it.As a book, most of the Malleus is very boring legal text and pseudophilosophical religious ramblings There are some strikingly disgusting moments of misogyny here and there, but overall, Kramer is pretty logical in his thoughts Too bad his whole frame of reference is way off The somewhat decent logic is useless when the premises are based on silly superstitions I thought it was funny how strongly he believes is astrology Isn't that a nono for today's religious? The Malleus is a historical document therefore reflects the views of some people at a specific time.According The Da Vinci Code, The Catholic Inquisition published The Malleus Maleficarum instructing the clergy how to locate, torture, and destroy ‘the freethinking women' The truth is, although Kramer and Sprenger were Catholic monks, their views were not the views of the Church or the University In fact, there is evidence that Kramer was expelled by the local Bishop during a witch trial in 1485 for his unprofessional conduct and this rejection was the reason for writing the Malleus, to try to gain recognition from Rome for his crazy theories.Kramer and Sprenger's ideas were not widely accepted even during their time They just some how triumphed in feeding on the beliefs and fears of the medieval people, twisting and turning them into believe what Kramer and Sprenger believed Here’s one of the most ludicrous things I found here: According to the Malleus, men could lose their penises through magical attacks by witches There are stories here of men claiming that their genitals had disappeared Witches were said to store the removed genitals in birds' nests or in boxes, where the penises move themselves like living members and eat oats and corn The 4 stars is for the historical value. my only thought is how come men throughout history have hated women so much? like really why? 5* for it's historical significance Definitely the most misoginystic and ludicrous text I've ever read.According to a 15th century guide to detecting witchcraft, witches were capable of making penises vanish—and some even kept them in nests and fed them oats.:D They were also killing new born babies and using their body fat so they can fly on broomsticks.I don't know should I laugh or should I cry knowing that a thousands of innocents were tortured and killed because of this damn book! and amazingly,in it's day,it was second most popular after the Bible.A must read for everyone,not only history lovers And women especially. The Malleus Maleficarum Latin for The Hammer of Witches is a famous treatise on witches, written inby Heinrich Kramer, an Inquisitor of the Catholic Church, first published in Germany inJacob Sprenger is also often attributed as an author This is the goto guidebook for identifying witches If you suspect sorcery, the Malleus Maleficarum is your onestopshop Invaluable. Such a quotable book tbh So glad this was preserved for posterity It's essentially some priest nattering on about how women like cats and sex too much, and how they steal men's dicks and pride and dignity and how to deal with them in court It's very funny.There is no doubt that certain witches can do marvellous things with regard to male organs (I'm sure they can *Wiggles eyebrows suggestively*)A priest, talking about how a man's exgirlfriend stole his penis: I saw nothing on the young man's removing his clothes and showing the place Then, using the wisest counsel I could, I asked whether he suspected anyone of having so bewitched him And the young man said that he did suspect someone, but that she was absent and living in Worms Then I said: ‘I advise you to go to her as soon as possible and try your utmost to soften her with gentle words and promises’; and he did so For he came back after a few days and thanked me, saying that he was whole and had recovered everything And I believed his words, but again proved them by the evidence of my eyes.”(I don't think he actually needed to strip him the second time; I'm sure the guy knew when he got his dick back Catholic priests, man.)All witchcraft comes from carnal lust, which is in women insatiable But the devils cannot interfere with the stars (This sounds like something that would get tossed around Tumblr and Facebook Some mashup of Don't let the bastards grind you down and We're all in the gutter looking up at the stars)When the member is in no way stirred, and can never perform the act of coition, this is a sign of frigidity of nature; but when it is stirred and becomes erect, but yet cannot perform, it is a sign of witchcraft.” (Viagra?)Anyway, that was a weird read Dry at parts, but worth it for the chuckles in between.